Learning to say “I Love You"

I Love You - the three most beautiful and magical words anybody in this world would want to hear from one special person in their life. However, most often than not, the magic of these three words does not last for long in today's time and age. 

We have come across such a situation in our life too, where we have felt & imagined while reading a book or while watching a movie or seeing a much in love couple, that we should also have a similar love story repeated in our lives.  

But how many a times, we might have had a chance to have a similar love story which got aborted well before time may be even before the magic of the words 'I Love You' seeped in, making us wonder what went wrong? It is high time, we learn the complete meaning of “I Love You", before we say it in future.

What is the meaning of the sentence “I Love You”?

It is made up of three words I, Love and You. It is essential to understand the meaning of each of these words before we attempt to understand their combination. 

What is “I”?

Who is this I, that is loving the other? Try and remember the days when we first said I Love You to anyone (Romantically). What was our age? What was our level of understanding about ourselves? Had we explored our identity in our own eyes before offering ourselves to the other? Did we really have the answer of The Question “Who am I” at that time? It is important to know who we are, Before we love anyone. In teen age, one of the main reasons why the magic of love doesn’t last for long, is the highly dynamic growth process of “I” that is changing very rapidly during teen age. 

 

It is very important in teen age that our definition of I grows beyond our appearance, our social background and our future plans. Because these aspects related to I are changing unpredictably and changing very fast especially in this age. I have seen very sweet couples in their teens, who are unable to recognize each other, by the time they reach their adolescence. I have also seen adolescence, who hurriedly venture into love marriage only to realize they are not so compatible to each other, by the time they become adults. We can prevent these harsh ways of realizations, by doing first things first. Before saying I Love You,  let us develop our understanding of “I”first.

What is Love?

What is this exact nature of this Love, which we are so eager to offer to the other? Is it convenience or companionship? Is it to flare our ego or to care for the other? Is it conditional or unconditional? If it is about convenience, ego & conditionsthen its love, but not Love. Love lasts for long, love doesn’t. Love is to care and be there unconditionally as true companion. Who is a true companion? One who treats the other at peer level and ensures that the bridge of communication is nurtured through appreciation of heart, attention of mind and availability of time. Time is life and Love requires time to grow. Courage to commit, conviction to care and consistency in companionship are key ingredients of Love that lasts. 

So, let us dare to care consistently and be there for the one who we love, Before we say “I Love”. I have witnessed lovers,who have taken each other so much for granted, that they summoned the magic to vanish, however unintended it might be. And then, they wonder why their partner went on with his/her life without the other in search of true companionship. The irony is, we realize the value of one (who was taken for granted) in their absence. We need to ask ourselves, is our love, mature enough to be Love? If yes, then be assured the magic would last forever.

What do you mean by “You”?

In the name of “You” what do we love? Is it the other person’s sheer existence or mere appearance? Is it that person’s natural individuality or tailor-made slavery in admiration of our ego? Does our scope of Love include the inconvenient, unpredictable, uncontrollable side of the other’s personality? Or is it restricted to what matches our perception, our requirements and our sense of control? Let us remember, that the other person would go on evolving. This process is dynamic and endless. And Only way in which we can Love long-lastingly, is by Loving the ever-lasting divinity in the other “You”.

 

“You” (inner nature, core divinity) last for long “you” (appearance, habits, personality) don’t .Let us focus on You (the divinity of other), Before we say I Love You. This focus would mean that we treat the other person with utmost honesty, trust, respect, sincerity, unconditional and heart- felt appreciation for the other for being the other (for You being You).

We have seen so many real life love stories, where lovers are still learning one or the other of three words of “I Love You”. For example, there are couples who have learned “I” and “You” and still learning “Love”. There are couples where only one of the two has seen the “You” and the other is still learning to see divinity in the other one. There are couples where both are busy with “I” and “Love”  and both are taking the “You” for granted. It is vital that they realise that they are WIP (work in progress) couples and should continue to evolve themselves and their relationship with greater awareness and sensitivity for self, relationship and the other. 

The journey of romantic life is from “I” to “You” on the path of “Love”. When the entire combination is learned, expressed and lived, the compassion expands. The care that started in the form of loving the other expands to include the family, friends and society of the other. The journey of expanding care makes the romantic lover more and more compassionate citizen, transforming him/her into universal human being. Are we generous enough to undertake the journey? 

Have we grown beyond our temptations to judge and criticize others? Judgments and criticisms are indicative of our own inability to see divinity in the other. This inability is indicative that our restricted sense of small “i”. The small “i” of intelligence requires insight and inclusivity in order to be mature “I”.

Love is continues process of nurturing, empowering and enriching the natural dynamic individuality of the other. The behavior opposite to Love can be seen in the form of draining, belittling, disrespecting the other’s individuality, capabilities, potential & those who contributed in nurturing the other’s life.

Learning to say “I Love You” means learning to see and honour spirituality within self, the relation and the other. This learning process may require many life times and yet it will be worthwhile. The shortest and fastest way to realize our long lasting Love is by being the mature Lover to the other. Let us remember, the other will reflect who we are, sooner or later. In this lifetime whomever we say “I Love You”, let us mean it, live it and endure it forever. Be assured, when we commit to this maturely , the universe will protect, nourish & Love us on each step of the process by acting as our ultimate unlimited, unconditional source of Love. 

After all, the entire Universe itself is a romantic verse of Unity. All lives are nothing but celebrations of Oneness. When we love our partner with serenity, harmony, balance, stability and honour, we come closest to what life is all about. When we will really learn the words I Love You, the magical words would last in the cosmos like the prayers, celebrating Oneness of the Universe.      

Happy Learning ….

Shilpa Savant

Co-student 

FEW TESTIMONIALS

Hello Friends,

As you all know that for the past one year I have been conducting regular Reiki Classes every weekend, here are few student testimonials.

1) PANKAJ SANGHVI:

2) ANUJA PANDEY

3) DIVANG SANGHVI

4) GEETA SANGHVI

5) MUGDHA SHAH

Coaching you towards self realization and learning,

Shilpa Savant

ALIGN

Align - one of the most simple and significant word of advice given to all who wants to attract abundance in life is “Align".

This article is to address frequently asked questions with respect to alignment.

FAQ 1. What do you mean by “Align”?

Attitude linking integrated godly network. It is a well known fact that we all are components of integrated network known as universe. Universe is already designed in such a harmony that it flows like poetry grows itself through dynamic equilibrium. 

All we need to do is find our exact role in it and play it passionately. The attitudes which help us find our place our positive attitude, gratitude and service attitude. Alignment is streamlining of positive attitude with thought, feelings, words and action. With gratitude for service of greater good.

FAQ 2. How alignment attracts abundance?

Abundance is already attracted towards us. It is being poured on us unconditionally by Nature. Alignment simply allows the abundance to be internalized. There is no resistance in nature. 

Similarly, a person aligned with nature (inner and outer) is least resistant to change. In other words, she/he is most open to all possibilities of life for progress and prosperity.

FAQ 3. What are the characteristic of a aligned person?

Top five characteristic of aligned person are …..

First characteristic is absence of all negative attitudes such as fear, anger, envy, inferiority, guilt, doubt, depressions and so on.

Second characteristic is abundance application of positive attitudes such as hope, unconditional love, faith, non judgmental, understanding, sincere respect, sense of appreciation, confidence, courage, conviction and calmness, joy, gratitude and so on.

Third and central characteristic is integrity. Integrity here means authenticity and consistency in thoughts, words and action. This characteristic results in credibility and trustworthiness of the person.

Fourth characteristic is good health (physical, mental, emotional and spiritual).Health is also through a state of mind that is always at ease. In other words a state of mind that does not get dis-ease (diseased) in any circumstance.

Fifth and final characteristic is oneness in behavior. This includes 3 key ingredients. Unconditional openness to diversity, inclusive thinking for finding WIN-WIN solutions AND honest humility serving the community to the best of one's ability.

FAQ 4.What happens in absence of alignment?

Efforts (absence of effortlessness), expectations, bondages, obligations, frustrations (heaviness), exhaustions.

FAQ 5. Can everyone achieve alignment forever?

Yes. Our inherent nature is aligned and abundant. Being aligned is nothing else but discovering this inner self waiting to be revealed through us. When truly aligned we are inspiring with our divinity, we are in balance and transmit that very energy into the world we live in. That energy seems to be visible to all whether enlightened or not. It transforms the way people treat us. It is grace… No woman or man can say they are always living in true alignment. 

Even Dalai Lama says he lose his grid sometimes. Yet, alignment to me is finding one's true purpose, finding a way to live integrated with that purpose and that way live aligned with one's soul…For me the intention, the discipline the attempt to stay aligned is worthwhile. 

Anyone who can assist this very process by living that alignment themselves are a soul teacher. Because their very being transmit an energy that almost automatically lights the light of alignment in that other person, reunite the man and the soul, man and purpose, man and their divine presence. 

Alignment is grace and grace is truly powerful… The quiet kind of powerful. The powerful way of transformation, growth and reuniting… To be, to act,to impact in alignment.

The best way to understand alignment is to experience it. Just do it and see it for yourself. The unique flavor of alignment is to each her/his own.

Happy to be aligned with all, 

Shilpa Savant